Charlie’s House

In my first post I introduced the concept of the Big X and how we are each at the center of our own “X.” While it’s important to recognize that we are in the center of our own experience, there is still a need to understand where that center exists.

To do this, I provide my clients with a simple list of adjectives describing personality traits along each of the four axes. Clients are then asked to mark which they believe apply to them. A person might mark 4 extrovert traits, 6 “heart” traits, 2 introvert traits and 1 “mind” trait. Scores along the same axes (extrovert/introvert and mind/heart) are then compared and the individuals core personality traits are revealed. In the example above, the person is a mild extrovert (extrovert 4 minus introvert 2 = extrovert 2) and moderate “heart” person (heart 6 minus mind 1 = heart 5). This person’s “center” is E4H5.

(It is important to keep in mind that while the person in our example has a core personality trait of extrovert/heart, the person still has introvert and mind traits. More on that in a later post.)

Now lets say a second person takes the same test and scores E4H9. Both people scored Extrovert/Heart, but to our E4H5 person, the E4H9 person is wildly emotional, while the E3H9 person might view E4H5 as thoughtful – perhaps even as cold. The way these two people view each other illustrates how we each see ourselves at the center, regardless of how “extreme” or “subdued” our personality traits might be.

You might be thinking: “That’s great, but what good does it do me?” First and foremost, this system gives us a measurable mechanic for how one person thinks differently from another. Let me put it another way: We all know someone that we just don’t “get.” With this system, we have a measurable, quantified means of understanding why we don’t understand the other person.

But, it goes farther than that. Some people don’t work well together because their personality types are so different. But others who are very different, might work together very well. The hard-charging Extrovert/Mind tends to just run right over the top of the soft-spoken Introvert/Heart. But the energetic Extrovert/Heart stimulates the Introvert/Heart and kicks them into even higher levels of productivity. Meanwhile, the Introvert/Mind can reign in the Extrovert/Heart, keeping him/her from racing out of control.

Understanding how the Extroverts, Introverts, Hearts and Minds work together and influence one another can really help turn an uncomfortable work environment into a happier – and more productive – place.

All this Extrovert/Mind, Introvert/Heart stuff gets to be a bit of a mouthful however, so I’ve come up with mnemonics to help describe them and keep them separate in our heads. But we’ll get to that in a later post.

As I mentioned in the “About Me” page, I do communications consulting on the side. It seems appropriate, therefore, to explain my communications strategy to start this blog off.

To my mind, a person’s personality exists on a coordinate system set up by two axes. These axes are introversion/extroversion (aka shy/outgoing) and mind/heart (or intellectual/emotional). No point on the resulting grid is any more important or valid than any other point, and to illustrate this, then entire structure is placed on it’s side, like a large letter “X”. I encourage each person to think of themselves as the center of the coordinate system. They are not ‘extremely shy’ or ‘very emotional’ or ’somewhat bland.’ Each person, is instead, just right; exactly in the center and the people they know exist in the continuum around them.

One of the key elements of The Big X however, is its mutability.  This is best explained by example: Perhaps you want to be more intellectual, you put effort into this, and over time slightly modify your personality to be less emotional and more thoughtful.   Rather than move farther along the “mind” axis, however, your position on the grid remains in the exact center, but the people around you move slightly to along the “heart” axis.

Staying in the center of our grid might seem odd.   After all, we changed, not the rest of the world.  But in reality, we continue to be the center of our own existence.  We continue to rate people in relation to ourselves.  We might occasionally compare one of our contemporaries to another, but for the most part, we think of the people we know in terms of ourselves.  We might say “Bob is not as shy as I am.” or “I wish I was more intellectual, like Jane.”

In a later post, I’ll explain how we determine where the center is, and how we explain our presence there.

-C